finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester
like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you
wack.
humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?
evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise*
Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:
Periods
Bad backs
Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned
Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems
Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less
Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now
Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing
•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.
•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.
•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.
•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.
This sounds like it’s being sung by a passive-aggressive 1920s radio host wearing a very dapper suit and threatening me with a cartoonishly small pistol, bearing a large grin on his face that indicates that he will not hesitate to put a hole in my forehead, not for a second
This sounds like Scott Bradley and the Postmodern Jukebox.
Folks, if you don’t know about Scott Bradley’s penchant for rearranging pop songs and TV themes into jazz, swing, and other styles, I’m about to blow your mind!
He does TV themes:
Britney Spears:
R & B:
Piano covers:
And mashups including, yes, Queen:
He has free playlists over on youtube. Makes wonderful writing and working music to have on. I play them in my office and people do double takes when they realize what song it is.
i can also recommend his version of oops i did it again
Thank you! Don’t do my boy Max dirty, he’s mad talented!!
Ahaha, I scrolled only down to the Postmodern jukebox before I klicked on the We will rock-link and the first thing I thought was ‘wait, why does it sound like Max Raabe?’ The man, who chews up words and spits music out? And then I scroll down and voilà - it IS Max Raabe.
The man is so talented and looks like the highlight of his day is to reject applications for whatever all day long.
another of my favorite replies to this post………
[Image ID:
Two replies on a different thread of the original post. The first reply is by user gingerhastoomanyobsessions an says “This sounds like it’s being sung by a passive-aggressive 1920s radio host wearing a very dapper suit and threatening me with a cartoonishly small pistol, bearing a large grin on his face that indicates that he will not hesitate to put a hole in my forehead, not for a second.
The second reply is by user beppothebadger and reads “Oh, so you already know what Max Raabe looks like.
“PETER: There’s a right way to do things and a wrong way. Revenge is the wrong way. It’s short-sighted and it’s dangerous.
NEAL: What’s justice then?
PETER: It’s restoring order, not furthering chaos.”
There’s a part of this movie where I have to like… let Aurora go a
bit. And it wasn’t in the script. And I didn’t quite let her go. And
Diaval has to come in and say, “Let her go.” And that got me every time
because I would think of, you know, all of the kids, and that moment…
that moment when you really have to let them go.
THIS. I wish I could be as eloquent as this person. Because this is how you make a difference.
for everyone in the notes asking: this was @raindovemodel (who is no longer active on tumblr, they’re active on instagram where this was posted but i wont link it because tumblr would hide this in the notes)
Rain (any pronouns) is a genderfluid model & posts a lot about how their ability to “pass” as either a man or a woman influences them, and shows off the absurdity of double standards such as mens vs womens olympic uniforms and societal treatment based on perceived gender
They’re also incredibly patient with transphobes and other bigots, and much more so than most of us can manage and I think it’s amazing that they put up with what people say & do
BRO !!!!!!
This is a really good example of what kind of social skills you really need to deescalate and reeducate folks that’s often demanded of all trans people to be ready willing and able to do, and it’s impossible to expect that.
writer: this is one of my male characters! he cares about his guy friends and loves them deeply.
tumblr: oh! so he’s gay!
writer: uh…no, he’s attracted to women.
tumblr: ….so he’s bi!
writer: uhh…no…….he loves his guy friends but he’s not romantically/sexually attracted to them.
tumblr: ….so you’re homophobic.
writer:
Healthy male friendships are almost as rare in mainstream fiction as gay male relationships, and maybe more rare in fanfiction. Let men be wonderful friends without pushing a romantic relationship, just like men and women should be able to be wonderful friends without the pressure of a romantic relationship.
*AGGRESSIVELY SLAMS REBLOG UNTIL I DIE*
This is literally the reason men are so terrified of being open about loving each other platonically, because they don’t want people to assume they’re gay just because they can be supportive of their fucking friends
I literally got anon hate about my response to this post, and I just want to say that I’m sorry…
for not reblogging it sooner.
Psyche bitch, this is a good post.
PREACH
This is like a direct response to half of Tumblr.
Not all relationships have to be romantic. Being close to someone doesn’t mean you are in love with them. Platonic friendships can be just as strong and wonderful as romantic ones.
I need to see more healthy friendships that aren’t turned into ships
I’ve only seen one healthy male friendship on television.
